End of year announcements

So, 2016 is only mere hours away, and outside, some kids are already testing firecrackers, while I’m here, writing down my resolutions for next year.

All in all, 2015 has been a good year, personally, financially, professionally. I started self-publishing my work in August and for the past few months have been at the Stephen King level of talent, at least. I put out a LOT of my old work in the beginning, and then took a few months off to focus on my day job (and other shit), but have been back at writing, publishing and translating the past few weeks, which is going good enough so far that I can reliably make these announcements:

1. Horrible advice for talentless writers: If you follow me on my various social media endeavours, you’ll get a short, snarky bit of advice every friday on how to write the SAXYEST STOHRIYES EVARRR! There’s enough of those to last me well through the year and into 2017.
2. Starting next sunday, every sunday is STORY SUNDAY! This means I’ll be publishing a new title that day, most of them under this pen name, some of them under different ones which I may or may not announce here, but I’ve got enough titles in the publishing queue to keep this up throughout the first quarter of 2016 at least.
3. After my period of exclusivity with Amazon has run out, I’m now free to publish my titles on any retailer I want to, which is why you’ll begin to see my stuff on the iTunes book store, Google Play, Nook, Kobo, Smashwords, Tolino and Inktera, at the very least. I’m looking at a few other options, especially for stories that are considered too taboo for large retailers, but haven’t gotten to any definite solution for these yet.
4. I’ll try to get some of my stories illustrated and am currently looking at and vetting a few illustrators to get that done. It’s a little labour-of-love project and won’t make me any money per se, but I thought it’d be nice for myself and readers to have. When I’ve got something definite going on, I might put up a poll on which stories readers like to get illustrated the most.
5. Audiobook. It’s coming together, I’ve found a speaker who’s not only super sexy but also really eager and proficient at it, and all we need to do is sit down and get it done. It requires a few days of free time, which is in short supply lately, but I’m positive that we’ll all see (or rather, hear) at least a first audiobook next year.
6. Translations are a mixed bag. I’ll get german translations out irregularly, but other languages might not get done next year, simply because these didn’t pay off at all. That was a little disappointing, but not a huge loss and definitely interesting to do.
7. New stories are constantly in the works, and by now I’ve started so many different series that I can pretty much write about anything, no matter what mood I’m in. Sci-fi? There’s far-future, near-future, cyberpunk, comedy, anything. Fantasy? Sure, got you covered. Zombie apocalypse? Why do you even need to ask. Supernatural mystery? Got that started just now. Regular, contemporary Dom/sub, slaveplay, female domination? Got a few series on that subject, as you should know. Bisexual, straight porn, gay porn? By now, I’ve written all of these, and may very possibly write some more about that.

SO: Looks like we’ll be fine next year. Many of these resolutions are already done and prepared, so they’re not just empty promises, which is why I’m confident enough to share them here. Other things I’d like to do, but am not so sure if I’ll get very far on them:

1. Fairy tales. That’s tricky, because almost all of them (at least the one I’d like to spice up a bit) include some element that’s taboo on my main retailers, which means I can’t make very much on them, if anything. And as much as we’d all like to hear more fairy tales, I’ll have to prioritize and be wise with my time. Maybe there’ll be a better way of funding them, and then chances will be more likely for me to write another one.
2. Choose-your-own-path adventure books. I definitely have plans and ideas on continuing the Birthday Present, as well as other books in the same vein. However, writing these requires a lot more work than writing a regular book (about 4-5 times more). While the Birthday Present did sell well, it didn’t sell THAT well to warrant that much work, but I just FUKKEN LOVE doing these, so when I’m in a super nerdy mood, I’ll chisel something out. Nothing definite has been done yet, though, so mark this as “possible, but uncertain”.
3. Some more self-help books. I’ve got ideas for at least two more (dating advice and writing tips), but haven’t even written a draft, so those are “uncertain, but uncertain”.
4. Comic book. Yeah, dream on.
5. Computer game. Choose-your-own-path books could easily get converted into a game – in fact, I’m writing them first in a game engine and then get them into book form. The reason this is on the “would like to, but unsure” list is that I’m not sure if porn games are even publishable anywhere. At least with books there’s established genres and a certain expectation on the consumer’s side to find some sex in them. With games, it seems all sorts of violence is just fine, but sex is something to stay away from. So, while I haven’t looked into it, experience suggests it’s going to be tough. I might just send out some emails to games publishing platforms, though, to see their stance on erotica, if only for the giggles.

Well, that’s it. Quite a list, but then we’d be nothing without our goals, would we?

As for you, have a very wonderful 2016, have an orgasm on me and don’t catch any STD’s. Remember what they say in Turkmenistan: Only masturbation is really safe sex.

Kat, checking out of 2015